Living My Best Life

Living My Best Life?

I was sitting at my desk plowing through a never-ending pile of paperwork, important to the people it concerned, for sure, but for me it was just another day of mindless drudgery. Today of all days my mind was anywhere but the continually growing pile that seemed to replenish itself as soon as I shuffled one piece away.

 After a week, where bombs were sent all across America, bent on terrifying or harming leaders of our democracy, A madman filled with hate killing 2 innocent people in a grocery store parking lot, the murder of 11 people killed by a mass murderer, simply because of their faith, a plane crash, yet another school shooting, and then as a sweet little bonus, finding out Geraldo Rivera has been living in my neighborhood for years, unknown to me, and obviously, quite a few of my neighbors, this week has been mind-boggling difficult.

Then, as I so often do during the day, I checked Twitter and saw a tweet from @ladyknoxly announcing that her website was live. She writes a blog about eczema and allergies, with a focus on what must be the cutest baby in the entire world, https://t.co/4gMUEX5qhB Well, I may not be a baby, but I am allergic to pretty much everything, and it’s an easy read, so I kinda love it.

But, today it got me thinking about life, my life specifically, and whether I was "living my best life," as Lil Duval and Snoop Dog say. As I looked around at my cluttered desk of other people’s lives, I knew the answer was, not only was I absolutely not living anywhere near my best life, but I didn’t even know what that would look like, with the exception of being a world famous writer of novel and screen.

But, until I get there, what does MY everyday best life mean? I’m not sure I know that. But, I intend to find out. There are 64 days until January 1, 2019. And since all journeys need a destination, I intend to use these next 64 days to find out what Angela’s best life is.

I invite you to grab your favorite journal and come along. Share your findings, vent, or just ride along, and see what we find. Hopefully, when the sun rises on 2019, I’ll at least have found the coordinates to find where X marks the spot to my best life. Here’s to Living Your Best Life.

I Quit

I quit. I know your friends, mentors, and pretty much every post on the internet, tells you, "never give up." It's practically tattooed onto our brains. But for many of us writers, scratching our way out of our computers into the great wide world, there's probably not a day that goes by that we don't think that very thing, "I quit."
 I quit the late nights looking for the perfect words to describe the night sky that aren't a cliché. I quit the scouring of articles and websites to find the perfect agent match. I quit the gut-wrenching, soul-crushing rejection letters and the never-ending dream of seeing my name on a book, placed oh so reverently on the endcap of a Barnes & Noble bookstore.
I've been thinking about it for a while now, every since the end of the last season of Project Runway. Confused? I bet. Let me explain.
You see, unlike a lot of writers, and smart people in general, I have not turned my back on TV. I love it, especially reality shows, preferably reality competition shows. It's the hope, the dreaming, the aspiring that draws me in. You know the story, a singer, a chef, or a dancer, shows up with nothing more than good old-fashioned gumption and belief in themselves, and vanquish thousands of other less worthy contestants to make all of their dreams come true. It's downright inspiring.
Well, last season of Project Runway, there was a contestant by the name of Kentaro Kameyama, a beautiful soul with a flair for the dramatic and an eye for the unique. All through the show the remarks from the judges ranged from dismissive to outright confusion, but his gift was undeniable and so he kept clawing his way up until he was in the final three.
I think most fans of the show probably thought he didn't stand a chance of actually winning, he certainly didn't, so he quit. He quit competing against the other designers, and quit designing to the judges feedback, and made the clothes that were in his heart. When  it was all said and done, he was the winner of Project Runway, season 16.
Ever since I watched Kentaro let go, or quit. I've been thinking about what it means to be successful. Must I have a high-powered agent to share my words with the world? If I'm not the black Stephen King, does that mean my stories have no value? What about traditional publishing? If I never sign that contract with a big agency, never sell a book to Grand Central or Kensington, or any publishing house, have I failed as a writer? I think not.
So, I quit. I quit competing against the voices of other writers, and quit writing to the feedback of so many judges to write the stories from my own heart. And just maybe, in time, I will be the winner of my own season.

Writing While Black

This past weekend was Bouchercon, a world mystery convention for lovers and writers of mystery and crime fiction. During the convention, the Anthony award, one of the most prestigious awards presented in the world of mystery writers, was awarded to Kellye Garrett for her first novel, Hollywood Homicide. While the book was every bit as exciting and fun to read as many critics, bloggers, and everyday lovers of mystery have said. It was her speech that has many people talking and my head spinning. 
During her speech Kellye Garrett quoted this fact taken Frankie's List on the Sister's in Crime website. https://www.sistersincrime.org/page/FrankiesList
There are less than 200 people who are traditionally-published and not straight and white. Just 81 black writers, 22 Latinx writers, 9 Native-Americans writers, 19 Asian American/Asian writers, in the mystery genre. Just let that sink in, less than 200.
As an aspiring black writer of thrillers, that stat was a stone in my heart. To be honest it made me question the viability of me continuing my pursuit of traditional publishing. But, it also gave me hope. It said, maybe, just maybe, the doors of publishing are squeaking open, just a hair. It also gave me hope that times really are changing.
Once upon a time, any writer who had any hope of having a career in writing had to find an agent, extraordinarily hard to do with everything in your favor. Next to impossible when most agencies don't have even one black agent, which is more than a skin color issue.
Love of story along with knowing how to sell the story is among the top reasons an agent gives as to why they choose a manuscript and offer representation to a writer. Any bookworm will tell you, the reason we fall in love with a story is because of our ability to relate to the characters and their experiences. So with agencies filled with a majority of white women, who may not be familiar or comfortable with the world of the non-white writer, what's a non-white writer with writer's dreams to do? So many things. Don't quit!
That is the number 1 piece of advice offered by NY Times Bestsellers, agents, and aspiring writers, alike. Go anywhere on the internet and you'll here the tale of J.K. Rowling who submitted to countless agents, none of them brilliant enough to see her gift, until she laid the biggest of golden eggs, and now the literary world bows at her feet.
You may even know a writer or two who have made it through those magical doors of agented, published writer. They'll tell you their own stories of despair and nearly chucking it all in for their couches and tales of what could have been, but instead chose to push on until that magical day came when they found, the One, and got the Offer, and lived happily ever after,
But if your skin is not white, and your story is not seen as universal, you may need a little more than persistence, you may feel like you need a miracle and wine, lots of wine. In between your tears and sips of vino, make sure you keep writing, and building your writing family.
Join or form a writer's group. Make sure it's as diverse as the writing you want to share. Go to writer's conferences, especially when you're feeling at the end of your rope. If it's a good one, like Killer Nashville, held every year in Nashville on the 3rd week of August, you'll come home crackling with inspiration, desperate to try again, and with a whole new group of writing family that will push you and remind you that you are great, even if the industry hasn't discovered it yet. Keep learning, and reading, and most of all writing.
And if you get to the point where you're willing to take another route, know that self-publishing is more popular than ever before. There are writers who have found amazing success in self-publishing and so can you.
As publishing is fighting to add more diversity, and authors like Kellye Garrett are kicking in the door. We black writers of all genres need to be bold and make sure our stories are being told, until when asked, anyone can name as many writers of color as not. After all, there is plenty of room for all of us.